Wake up, Bitches! You ain't hurt! (Yes you are... and that's okay!)

 

 

I've often been told I feel too much, or, that my feelings are invalid. At times, they don't exist. 

I'm simply making up things, according to certain people...  especially those who wish to feel nothing, or are ashamed for putting me in a position to feel that way in the first place, and deny, deny, deny, when they are called out on it. Heaven forbid they feel anything but comfort, acceptance, stability, love, and admiration!

Maybe you deal with this, or know someone who has.

"You are remembering incorrectly."

"I'm sure I never said that."

"I'm simply reacting to YOU. It's not me who has the problem."

"You're making things up."

(You are not... they are reflecting, meaning, THEY make things up, and make mountains out of molehills, but reflect it back onto you.)

"I listen when it's important (to me.)"

"Stop talking about stupid bullshit."

 Example: ANYTHING that you feel the need or urge to talk about that they don't want to hear or talk about. Including but not limited to: 

Situations at work, people who wronged you, your grief over the cousin who died suddenly of a drug overdose (yes, really...) your anxiety, fears, and discouragement, and even your dreams. I'm talking DREAMS. The things you long for and goals you'd like to reach someday. (I mean, it's not like you're actually going to DO any of those things, anyway...) **Insert large eyeroll here.**

"You're not here for ME."

"Why can't you just choose me for once?"

Uh.... what?

"You don't take care of me."

"You don't do shit around here."

(Clean house, cook every night, write books, do photography, do the laundry, doctor appointments, school projects, take out the trash, clean the garage, pressure wash, paint walls, be a mother..... you get the idea.)

"Take a break. Do your thing! I support you!"

"You're not doing your thing good enough or trying hard enough. You're lazy."

(When in fact you were doing really well, flying high and super proud of yourself... feeling better than you had in a long time.) 

"Well if you would spend less I wouldn't have to work so much."

(This is hilarious, BTW... because they often spend whatever they want, whenever they want, while you feel guilty about buying items that weren't on a sale's rack. Also, they would have still worked just as much, because that's what they always did. Even when you were also working full-time.)

"If you'd get a job I wouldn't be so stressed and tired."

(What was the excuse when I was also working 40+ hours a week as well, then?"

"You're not going to tell me how to spend MY money. I'll do whatever I want."

(Just make sure YOU don't).

"You're the woman of my dreams..."

"You're so smart. You can do anything." 

(Just not THAT thing.)

Then they'll excuse their own confusing behavior toward you, due to THEIR emotions and what you said in you rebuttal to their words because there is to be no reaction from you... yet, their reactions to your boundaries you try to set are often enough reaction for the both of you. 

They can and will complain, talk down to you, name call, which come on, they're JUST being honest. They were doing you a FAVOR by telling you what you don't want to hear about yourself! Someone has to tell you all of your faults and THEY are coming to the rescue!

 

GAG...

The craziest part of all is they think you should be able to TAKE it, Swallow it, rebuttal not, because if you do, you are arguing, can't take ANY criticism, (even if you agree with some of their points!) and are being stubborn, narcissistic, and are avoiding the truth. 

This is so strange to me, because they are the ones who in fact cannot take ANY type of criticism WHATSOEVER. 

HOW DARE YOU!?

I mean, I'm not painting myself as perfection. TRUST ME. I've been reassured for most of my adult life that I am far from it, actually! (Then told I AM.) 

So confusing.

I apologize if I hurt people, and admit when I am wrong. Even as a preschool teacher... If I was wrong about something, I had no issues with apologizing to a three or four year old, so I certainly have no problem apologizing to a grown person, as I AM one. 

The problem with this situation, is that after SO many years of  SO many people showing me that my feelings don't matter, I set myself up for being stuck in a situation like this. Even in knowing how I had been hurt, used, manipulated, abused, lied to, cheated on, back-stabbed, and walked on... it still continues. Yet, I should feel ever so lucky that I am "loved," taken care of, "accepted," baggage and all. Fourteen years later, even with all of my issues, and all of my attitude, and ungratefulness, and spending habits... I am "loved."

Then one day, you look at them differently, and they can't and won't accept it, and refuse to understand it.

After all, you are the one with the problems and the creator of them, which in turn, causes their upset, stress, problems. YOU. It's your fault! 

So toughen up, bitch. Your feelings are invalid, made-up bullshit.

Smile because you have no reason not to, and get back to work on continuing to boost up, admire, worship, please, and validate the feelings of the oh-so-perfect one. 

Cheers until next time, fellow badasses!